Laundromat

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> DISHES (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')am I crazy to need(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')kind roommates and (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')clean dishes(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')an empty sink (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')they tell me yes(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')it seems impossible (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')all I want is to be heard(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')why don’t they care (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')how I am hurting(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')when the mold grows like apathy (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')it is too much(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')no matter what I say I am a trouble to be washed away(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')though the mold will stay (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')if I ask for help(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')they turn their backs (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')it is my problem(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')and no one wants to see me (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')“no one else cares”(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')he tells me (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')something I already know(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')“we do not care about you” </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> LAUNDRY today i did my laundry scrubbing last night’s dreams from behind my eyes a little bit at a time further and further away with each rotation of the barrel sloshing soap(print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')and water(print: '\u00A0\u00A0')and(print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')purity back and forth and sh-kah-sh-kah-sh-kah-sh-kah white linoleum is a good backdrop to build a new life on shaping futures out of soap bubbles and building houses(print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')out of wet clothes </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> LAUNDRY ROOM 1 the laundry room has become a safe space for me a personal world where everything is clean I can sit in a corner listening to the kah-chunk-kah-chunk and revelling in the peace a fresh slate can bring no one knows me in the laundry room but I do, and it is intoxicating I am anonymous and invisible and free from worrying about being perceived </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> LAUNDRY ROOM 2 My relationship with the laundry room is complicated. Every step to get there is bamboo-under-fingernails. Every breath I take on the way is waterlogged. But when I am there, I can breathe deeply and smell the soap and promise in the air. Guaranteeing a peaceful sleep, without nightmares of mud monsters and dirt on my skin. Guaranteeing a shower where I don’t have to scrub until I bleed. Guaranteeing a day where my clothes are neutral on my body, instead of at odds. The laundry room is a lifeline and a fire extinguisher. It is something I avoid at all costs. </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> LAUNDRY ROOM 3 each tile here is different this one is mostly black with little white swirls that one has black clouds on a dirty white sky the one under the machine I’m using is a black and white paisley the one by the door is all black the walls are simpler shiny white tiles ⅔ of the way and turquoise paint to the ceiling with a thin stripe of black to separate I wonder why the black and teal white I get white is clean you can see dirt on white a mile away black can be clean too, but in a placating way it may look clean, but just because you can’t see the dirt doesn’t mean it isn’t there and how does teal function? is it supposed to remind us of water? It is too dark for that anyways, the overhead florescent ruin all of it, casting a dull starkness over the whole room the laundry machines rumble oblivious to my dive into color theory </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> LAUNDRY ROOM 4 can you get high sniffing laundry detergent? I googled this once and felt so dumb I was genuinely worried! I’d sat there huffing detergent for a full two minutes and I’d started to feel woozy I wasn’t trying to do inhalants I just like the smell like the smell of relaxing in 40 minutes when the work is done and of a clear mind unoccupied with the stress of being dirty I looked it up and I think I was just breathing too deeply borderline hyperventilation to get a whiff of arm & hammer clean burst </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> TIDYING UP I wish my mind were as easy to clean as my room everytime I pick something up in there it clatters around, as though angry I dared to tidy up My room would never do such a thing! I can set the blankets on my bed and smooth them out, so that no crease exists fluffing the pillows and straightening the sheets and getting no rebuttal in the process My memories do not like being ironed out like this they like to run around, screaming for me to hear them insistent on my attention oh, how nice it would be! If I could shelve my thoughts as neatly as the plays scattered on my floor none of them jumping back off the shelf as my thoughts are wont to do if I could fold up my anxieties as easily as my strewn-about laundry tucking them away in a drawer when I’m done </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> MY GRANDMOTHER my grandmother bought me a portable washing machine a 3’x2’x2’ box that is surely prohibited in my lease because I stopped doing my laundry and she wants to cure my depression my portable washing machine doesn’t work it won’t hook up to my sink the way the instruction promises it should so I spent 2 hours bucketing water into the drum trying to make this damn box work now, my towels are stiff with soap that did not get washed away and wet with water from my bucket </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> JUNK, PT 1 (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')we adore our junk, she says, laughing I laugh too, knowing it is the truth a garage full of 30 years of junk stands as proof to this (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')we love it too much! (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')nothing is wrong with loving it too much— (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')we tried to Marie Kondo it, but all of it brings us joy someday, I will have to clean that garage I will have to pick up each piece of junk and try to understand why she adored it so much </span> This piece of paper seems to have something written on the back as well. You flip it over and the paper reads: <span class="smaller"> JUNK, PT 2 my junk does not bring me joy it drags me down and buries me under piles of books I’ve never read and pictures that make me cry I am very useful for cleaning because I throw everything out it breaks my grandmother’s heart she thinks I’ll miss my things someday maybe I will but today I am glad to have a clean room </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> CLEAN the whites of my sheets seem so clean and pure how unfair it is that they yellow with use not a deep color, no barely there yet clear enough to me the one who is looking for it how unfair it is I have done nothing to provoke this spoiling but simply lay there and let down my guard is that what stains my sheets? my innermost thoughts and emotions leaking out in the forms of oils and sweat streaking the clean, white linen with unforgivable thoughts and ambitious desires it seems the only way to keep them white is to wash them often bleach the despicable innocence of sleep from the threads innocence that allows vulnerability and unconscious truth clean the evil thoughts away the ones that the conscious brain will not allow and craven envy that lurks only allowed out when I am unable to hold it in I wish my sheets would stay white </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> SHAVING I cut myself shaving today the water ran out in the shower so I had to do it dry my skin is pocked with nicks now little beads of almost-black blood gathering every inch or two on my skin it was fascinating I was so distracted by how otherworldly it looked my legs, sweating blood that I didn’t even notice the pain </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You open the machine and a piece of paper flutters out. You pick it up, and it reads: <span class="smaller"> SHOWERING someday my skin will be smooth in reality, but also in my mind the rough and sweaty film that coats me will sloph off my body and (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')d (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')o (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')o (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')w (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')w (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')n (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')n (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')n (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')n (print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')the drain I will be free from the foreign desire to tear my skin from my limbs peeling each section up like a misplaced puzzle piece until each muscle is exposed and free </span> [[Close the washing machine]]

You've decided that this laundry machine isn't the one for you. Choose a different machine. <style> img { max-width:100%; max-height:100%; } </style> <img src=https://theagricolas.org/jenna/laundry/usethisone.png> </div> [[MACHINE 1->DISHES]](print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')[[MACHINE 2->LAUNDRY]](print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')[[MACHINE 3->LAUNDRY ROOM 1]](print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')[[MACHINE 4->LAUNDRY ROOM 2]] [[MACHINE 5->LAUNDRY ROOM 3]](print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')[[MACHINE 6->LAUNDRY ROOM 4]](print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0') [[MACHINE 7->TIDYING UP]](print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')[[MACHINE 8->MY GRANDMOTHER]] [[MACHINE 9->JUNK]](print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')[[MACHINE 10->CLEAN]](print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')[[MACHINE 11->SHAVING]](print: '\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0\u00A0')[[MACHINE 12->SHOWERING]] [[GO HOME]]

Ah, clean laundry. You pull your laundry from the machine, and despite the fact that there is not a single clothes dryer in sight, each piece of clothing is fluffy and warm. You feel in your bones it's time to go home. You sit down, your eyes suddenly starting to droop. Before you know it, you wake up, staring at a basket full of washed and dried laundry sitting in the center of your bedroom. You're home.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"X")[<span class="bigger">''Laundromat:</span> A Digital Chapbook'' Jenna Agricola [[Open Your Eyes]]]